LOVE AND MARRIAGE
[a.k.a. the war at home]
Benjamin Kissell
"Mawwiage is what bwings us togevver"
Love:
-Lifts us up where we belong.
-Will keep us together.
-Is a many splendoured thing ... even when it's brought into the harsh and unflattering light of everyday reality.
Marriage is, indeed, what bwings us togevver [thank you The Princess Bride for that most awesome of wedding scenes]. Whether you're getting married in the conventional sense [SQUEE!!!!! APRIL 2015!] or living in sin with a safety pin waiting for him to put a ring on it, marriage is the true-bonding of a household.
Having found the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with a whiles back, we decided to move in together last summer and began what could - charitably - be called "a f#@king insane" amount of packing and merging:
You see, we're both consumate packrats [read: not quite hoarders, as we only have the one cat who is quite alive and not squished under a box somewhere, thank you ] who've yet to meet a vintage action figure, series of humor/sci-fi/fantasy novels or X-Men comic book we didn't like.
We lived to tell the tale despite having enough boxes to fill a warehouse and being the stereotypical idiots who decided to RENOVATE the apartment while we were in the process of moving in [why yes, I realize the irony of me mocking and calling the people on Property Brothers who go through the same thing "wussies"]). Thus we ended up with what is affectionately called "Comic/Bookstore Geek Chic" for our place. Warm greys and blues accenting off-white/"antique-bone" cabinetry; aqua/teal love seat and small cerulean wingback chair and comic books, 'geek' posters and action figures as our tchotchkes help the whole apartment feel cohesive and ... well ... "us".
Of course, getting there was only half the battle ...
................................................
"Chores? I'm so thrilled I could scream ... oh, wait ..."
You see, despite our being 'the same person', John (my loving boyfriend fiance) and I had a few differing opinions on things when it comes to what makes a household run. And, thus the war was born on multiple fronts and a sweeping conclusion had to come ... Win or lose, the battle was chosen.
Over Vs Under: the toilet paper siege
I don't know about you, but there is only one PROPER way for toilet papr to hang: OVER, so that a simple tug will provide you with endless bounty of soft tp instead of requiring you to do the hand-crawl-of-awkwardness as you search and grope for that elusive edge so you don't end up that miserable "Not a Square to Spare" victim [Hrmm, look at that - 2 Seinfeld jokes in just as many articles; what's up with that?]. This battle can also spread to the paper towels and will spoil any goodwill in the kitchen if you don't catch it in time.
Socks: the vicious enemy of the dryer
We both are veterans of doing our own laundry [admittedly, if I could have someone else do it for me before - namely my saintly Mum - I fully took advantage; BAD Benjamin! BAD Benjamin!] and neither is a stranger to the drudgery of hauling our baskets from bedroom to washer/dryer, thankfully, now my machines are not coin-operated and this is spoiling me rotten ... and yet, we still found a conflict: socks. I won't say which of us was the offender [both], but one of the singularly most irritating things I've discovered in the world is having to unroll wet socks so that they are not bunched-up or inside out (to dry more evenly).
Inside the sink or beside it: When dishes clash and clutter
No matter who I've lived with in the past, friend or family, no one has come to a consensus of where and how long it is socially acceptable to leave dirty dishes. In the sink? Beside the sink? For a few minutes? Hours? Days? Early on in our relationship a friend told John the secret to getting me to do dishes: make me angry/pick a fight. [Apparently I only get into the dish-washing zone when I'm pissed off; weird.] Neither one of us has been consistent in this - both occasionally light-heartedly mocking the other for leaving a pile in one such place or the other.
This battle is a draw - you could say we both win, but since this involves washing dishes let's be honest, nobody does.
Board Games: the deadly occupation
I am insanely competetive when it comes to board games like Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Monopoly and Mad Gab. 'Nuff said.
My thoughts at the beginning of any board game ...
...............................................
At the end of the day and the small battles - win or lose - I am happy to lean back and muse: for love and marriage; for better and for worse my life and his are tied together forever ... and I? Am very okay with this.
[As long as he lets me win occasionally]
Recent Comments