FOR THE HONOR OF GRAYSKULL
fabulous secrets were revealed to me ...
[That's right ... FABULOUS secrets]
Benjamin Kissell
I could never tell: was Light Hope a Discotheque
or just the result of She-Ra spending too much time at the local Bath House?
*cough* Can you say ... 'Fruit Fly'? *cough*
Everyone, I suggest you sit down for this.
I apologize for the double-length article ahead but it feels warranted as I am about to drop some science on you. Impart some possibly-little-known-facts. Share with you some incredibly fabulous secrets.
I love She-Ra and He-Man possibly as much now as I did as a 6 year old.
[*silence*]
Okay, guess it wasn't that much of a surprise or secret.
.................................................................
As a child of the 80's I still harbor a not-so-secret love for all things MOTU [Master Of The Universe, the He-Man line of toys and books] and POP [Princess of Power, the She-Ra line]: I had the action figures, the playsets, the costume-accessories, pillowcases and sheets, the banks, the books, comic books and quarterly magazines ... and even once the cereal.
Apparently I had a mother who really wanted me happy [or wasn't a fan of seeing me toss a tantrum that put Linda Blair to shame - complete with pea soup shots].
It goes without saying, that as a gay boy who grew up in the 80's I wanted to grow up to be She-Ra: The Princess of Power. Quel shock, right? I could knock you over with a feather - or a golden boustier. She was everything I wasn't as a child: strong, confidant, popular, assertive and ... let's be honest here ... a kick-ass hero in high heels and perfect hair.
[Coincidentally, this is where I developed my intense hatred for all-things wedge-heel: the Princess of Power toys were supposed to represent She-Ra and her friends who, mostly, ran around Etheria in heels ... yet the toys? To support and allow them to stand-up without assistance, the designers had them in these garish (to me) WEDGE heels. Um. No Mattel. No.]
"Now to even the odds a little bit - for the honor of Grayskull ..."
OOH LOOK! SPARKLY RAINBOWS! SPA-ARKLY RAINBOWS!
But it's true.
One of my grandmother's favorite memories to trot out - admittedly telling it in a less-than-super-gay way - is her explanation of how she knew I was going to be so "artistic" and a "good writer" because I had such a "superb imagination":
Nana: Benjamin, you've always had a superb imagination - I knew you'd grow up to be artisitc. You're such a good writer; you have such a strong way with telling stories.
Me: Aww, thank you Nana *hugs*
Nana: Remember, when you were a kid - maybe three or four - and you would run around yelling ... what was it you yelled? Oh yes 'Sword to rope'
Me: *snorted laughter and an eyeroll*
Nana: You'd run around the backyard with Jay and you would pretend that baseball bat of his was your little sword. Oh the fun you two had.
[Explanation: She-Ra's sword was able to transform from sword into whatever plot-device she needed that episode to help solve the mystery/snare the villain and her memories here are of me and my uncle - with whom I played Battle Beasts/He-Man/SilverHawks/Thundercats in the mid-80's - playing baseball in the backyard; the only way he could convince me from ages three to five to play the game with him was to allow me to pretend to be She-Ra. So, whenever we would play, I'd stand there, at home plate, announcing "Sword to baseball bat". True Story.]
"Sword to rope!" Gurrl, I lost track of how many times I tried this. Sadly, it never worked.
I know, it's hard to believe; but I really was an effeminate, big-haired, skinny [oh, to be that skinny again naturally - I'm just not up for all that exercise and dieting] and geeky kid who didn't get along with the other boys in-class when they weren't playing with their He-Man action figures (Silverhawks, Transformers or Thundercats were also acceptable). I was lost mentally (and physically walked away) when the subject of a 'Hulk Hogan' or 'Wrestlemania' passed their lips. On more than one occasion at my elementary school playground I was seen stomping my (purple) corduroy pantsed butt away from the conclave of boys under the monkey bars and slide to the more girl-friendly gymnastic bar corner.
At least there my talking about She-Ra, JEM and Rainbow Brite didn't garner me severe mocking.
Ususally.
Although I do often wonder about Valerie Maxwell ... between her penchant for dressing like Vickie from Small Wonder and her EXTREMELY Mary Lou Retton hairdo it's a small wonder [*snort*] she didn't try to kick my ass for intruding on her all-girl-all-the-time little club. [Perhaps I should Facebook stalk her and see if she ever revealed her love of Beaches, softball and mullets - if so, that'd be awesome.]
Regardless, it was a love of She-Ra which gave me strength many days to face the bullies and walk into school with my head held high despite being the epitome of "weird" and "different" [as my kindergarten-through-fifth-grade-required counselor described in her first write-up of me: "possible homosexual tendencies"]:
1) smaller than the other boys in my grade in both height and weight - check
2) smaller than most of the girls in my grade in both height and weight - check
3) better hair than most of the girls in my grade - check
4) better taste than most of the girls in my grade - BIG. FAT. CHECK.
5) the ability to walk on my toes reminiscent of high heels [learned from JEM and She-Ra] - check
6) a love of all-things Unicorn (including a rainbow unicorn towel for naptime) - CHA-CHECK
7) a voracious appetite to read almost anything I could get my hands on - check
8) the only boy in the 1st and 2nd grade taking gymnastics and begging for tap shoes [what? I liked the way they clicked when I walked] - check
9) being one of the VERY few students at my school in what was considered a shameful minority ... a child of divorce - check [which was far healthier, trust me, than their marriage had been]
............................................................
My mother (the rock throughout my life, who raised me while working full-time AND attending college to get her teaching degree) has understood and supported me despite the fact that my differences drew attention and polarizing like/dislike from students and teachers (and parents) throughout my childhood ... yet, never once did she do anything other than have my back. I needed that new Princess of Power Frosta toy to feel better after Scottie Gayle kicked my (purple) corduroy pantsed butt? If she had the money, she went out and found it. My She-Ra official costume didn't come with a red cape? She was right there tying our red bathroom towel to my back so I could rock it out in full regalia ... sometimes [possibly under duress] she would put on the Hordak mask and play along with me.
If any of this looks familiar, then you, too, were a child of the 80's
... or possibly a compulsive shopper like me.
And yes, I had those Golden Girls (top row), JEM dolls (middle)
and She-Ra toys *sigh*
...................................................................................
When I grew up, and went through more bad dates than the entire collected series of Rock of Love, I Love New York, Tila Tequila and other assorted MTV/VH1 dating show COMBINED [see my bevy of date-themed articles over the last umpteen years], it was my latent and rekindled love of She-Ra that helped shine the light on the man who would turn out to be my soul-mate. My one true love - John. Someone who doesn't need me to have the golden boustier, bouncy blonde hair, giant muscles and super powers to be super-powered to him.
[I still say it was madness spending that amount of money on an ACTION FIGURE honey! But thank you! *kiss*]
My love of the original toys has bonded me, as an adult, with friends like Irma Eriksson (creator of the popular webcomic Imy) [Irma's shown her love of She-Ra in various strips and Illo-art]. My love for the new line of MattyCollector toys has been a common bond with George O'Connor (author of the award-winning Olympian graphic novels) [more than one of his video interviews has shown a background of MOTU figures along the shelves of his home-office] and a not-so-hidden shared love has connected John and I with new friends like Josh Bethka here in-town. [Who knew there was a sub-culture of He-Man geeks in the area?]
My 30th birthday, for example, was a portrait in He-Man and She-Ra excesses: an 80's cartoon-themed costume party saw us hosting as Skeletor (him) and She-Ra (me, natch).
"FAAAAAABULOUS SECRETS!"
When we moved in together and set up our apartment our living room soon boasted a bevy of original 80's He-Man and She-Ra toys, the modern Matty Collector action figures (complete with $300 Castle Grayskull) and vintage comic books and mini-books on display ... all of which we both love.
And, of course, when it came time to propose to John, I did so in the only way which seemed reasonable: with the help of She-Ra and her twin brother, He-Man. Taking several hours to come up with the perfect idea (hopefully) and then eventually posing our He-Man and She-Ra action figures around the room with little love notes building up to the inevitable question ... I took the biggest leap of faith in my life. The answer? Well, our matching He-Man/She-Ra Swords of Power/Protection engagement-slash-wedding rings should answer that.
For the Honor of Love - By the Power Above! We have the power so can you ...
Dammit Benjamin! I just put on that Mascara! I laughed and sighed and smiled and now i'm bawling my eyes off! <3
Posted by: Linda Lesto | 04/10/2014 at 03:44 PM