SUMMER READS 2013
[or, read what I tell you to, because they're damn good books]
Benjamin Kissell
"Marjorie, will you pass the sunscreen?" "Sure, just lemme finish this chapter." "But that's what you said 30 minutes ago." "Mm hmm, and you believed me then; it's not like you're getting any less Jersey Shore tan, is it?" "Marjorie, remind me to smack you when I finish this page."
What happens when you run out of wine, daquiri, vodka and reads - then eventually patience and tolerance - while you're at the beach? Well, if you're anything like me [and let's face it, if you read my articles, you're prolly already on that path] you reach for your phone to protest about it through twitter before you get up and hunt down a combination thereof.
Some [read: many] might hit up the bar to replenish waning stock and glare at the annoying hipsters and scantily-clad men and women who completely-destroy-your-self-esteem, but I would like to think that my influence would lead the rest to either turning on their e-reader and downloading a new book or hitting up their vacation hotspot's bookstore.
[Last year, while on the twee North Carolina island we took our vacation on there was 1) so little cell signal that I couldn't tweet my displeasure at running out of Chardonnay let alone download a new book and 2) such weak internet for the first 3 days that it rendered my tablet next-to-useless. So, instead of whining - yes, I do more than just that - I went to the local wine and book shop and bought several new reads which got me through the week.]
[Yes, I do realize how awesome it was that I found a store which sold wine AND books.]
[Double-yes, they fucking sold chocolate, too!]
*Ahem* Anyways; the best way to either get through such a situation or recover from it is to have a list of fantastic reads to pull from. Names and titles to keep an eye out for.
Wonderful books recommended by yours truly.
Whether they are from some of my favorite authors, friends or someone I've never met but enjoyed, the following books are all ones which ought to find their ways into your beach bag, your back-pack, your purse or your deck's chair-side table.
As she read Jaws, little Abigail decided that it was
quite a good thing she was already floating in a warm pool ...
Humor/Memoir:
The Tao of Martha by Jen Lancaster
The newest memoir from multiple-time NYT bestselling author (who also happens to be my literary hero and friend) of fiction and non-fiction came out June 4th. Jen took on LIVING [baddum bum ching] a year under the precepts and guidance of Martha Stewart where she learned: What to eat, how to pray and who to love. I can't tell you how impressed I am that she successfully merged the brilliant dictates of all-things Martha, the empress of domesticity, within her own life while retaining her signature wit, self-effacement and connectivity to her audience. Think Julie and Julia ... but funnier.
The Potty Mouth at the Table by Laurie Notaro
A summer run doesn't feel complete now without a romp with the brilliant Notaro (whose own books helped inspire Jen Lancaster) [and three of whose books kept me from losing my mind on the aforementioned NC trip last year], a multiple-time award-winning and NYT bestselling author of fiction and non-fiction. Her newest collection of essays and wit feels like you're sitting in the corner of your local coffee shop telling apalling and hilarious stories you-probably-shouldn't-be-sharing with your best friend, regaling yourselves with embarassment and brilliance.
Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys edited by Melissa de la Cruz
(w/Stacey Ballis, David Levithan, Gigi Levangi Grazer and Brian Sloan)
The anthology which inspired the Sundance Channel's hit series follows 20+ brilliant writers' points of view and tales on being the fag hag, the fruit fly, the gay-best-friend and many permutations of the relationships between gay men and straight women. Edited by the author of the super-huge-hit YA Blue Bloods series, de la Cruz, this collection features work by some of my favorite authors and several friends. For example, Stacey Ballis' love of gay men showcased here helped influence the relationships of several protagonists in her best-selling novels. It's been a distinct pleasure to chat with David Levithan over the years and this read gives even more insight into why we get along. Brian Sloan, the genius behind WTC View (play and film) who I helped set up a tour with back in 2008, wrote a piece that I can identify with in so many respects it's almost eerie (which is partly explained that we grew up in the same general area). A must-read for any gay man, straight woman or anything in-between.
Social Media is Bullshit by B.J. Mendelson
Humorist, satirist and bullshit-call-out would all be appropriate words to describe Brandon Mendelson and his book, Social Media is Bullshit. Tired of all the empty hype and complete bollocks that social media gurus preach through Twitter, Google+ and what-have-you? So is Brandon. There is nothing wrong with a little elbow grease and hard work, but, so many of the social media (which he correctly points out is an oxymoronic phrase) sellers want you to believe that you get something for nothing and that's just plain bullshit. Delivered with Brandon's distinctive wit and verve, this how-to-survive the upcoming dot-com 2.0 burst with straightforward truths left me laughing and thinking.
Return to the Big Fancy by Freeman Hall
Return with Freeman Hall into the world of Retail Hell in his 2nd memoir, the follow-up to his hit Retail Hell and his collection of humor essays, Stuff that Makes a Gay Heart Weep [Okay, I'll admit, not only is Freeman a friend - we met after his first book's release - but, I helped edit STMaGHW and was a regular contributer to its website ... in fact, my writings for both of his websites helped launch my website through here - so THANK YOU FREEMAN!!!]. Join him as he shows you the windows onto the tortured retail soul complete with roaming Shopasaurus/i, thieving and deceitful children, lying and conniving discount rats and a slew of co-workers you wouldn't want to be within 10 leagues of, let alone work with. You'll laugh and you'll cry with Freeman on this follow-up journey of introspective thought and biting wit.
Little Monster Hell, Discount Hell, Stolen Hell and Coworker Hell edited by Freeman Hall
Okay, MASSIVE confession time: each of these e-book anthologies includes an essay or short story by me. But I'd recommend them regardless because there are some damn fun stories which will bump your blood pressure to lethal levels, make you laugh so hard you'll cry in pain and roll on the floor wincing in sympathy. Collected from the various regular contributers to Retail Hell Underground and chosen by Freeman, these e-books are sold through Amazon but will convert to any digital reader device. My pieces to look out for in them are as follows:
Little Monster Hell - "Sticky Fingers"
Discount Hell - "Maryland Brown'n'Dirty"
Stolen Hell - "Stabiliity is Overrated"
Coworker Hell - "The Devil Wears Wal-Mart"
Humor/Chick Lit:
Forget About It by Caprice Crane
Caprice Crane's sophomore novel, the delightful comedy of errors, was so good that I couldn't put it down upon buying it and devoured it in one night, staying up until 7am - I just HAD to know how it would end. Would she recover? Was her memory truly gone? Would she marry the wrong man? The right one? Released in 2007, Forget About It has held a place of affection in my library since its release [NOT just because I adore Caprice and am lucky enough to count her as a friend] and I can bet it will for decades to come. Full of wit, heart, depth and sparkling dialogue it isn't hard to see why it's both audience-loved and critically well-received. Caprice brilliantly weaves a tale of mistakes, criss-crosses and confusion that will keep you holding on until the end.
And after you read it, pick up Caprice's newest novel, Confessions of a Hater, when it hits bookstores in August. Caprice brilliantly and deftly mingles her Hollywood and New York City roots in each of her novels and this one looks to be no exception, promising biting wit and some unbelievably fun snark.
Spinster Sisters by Stacey Ballis
Stacey Ballis, who makes me laugh every time I am lucky enough to chat with her, constantly delivers in her novels - whether it is one where she turns the food world on its ear or plays with your expectations and catches you unawares. Spinster Sisters helped me feel better for a good long while that I chose to be single because I made it for the right reasons. Chock full of three-dimensional characters, dilemmas, drama and dazzling wit you'll hate when the book ends, wanting more.
Coming out in December is Stacey's newest novel, Out to Lunch, which draws from the rich literary and culinary world she lives in and creates a fantastic new tale ... which may or may not have a fantastically gay character with a name you might recognize. Just sayin' - keep eyes peeled.
Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster
Why yes, Jen writes fiction as well as non-fiction ... but, both will keep you on the edge of your bed laughing. In her 2nd fiction debut, Jen tackles such immense roots as Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, Whitesnake and Hot Tub Time Machine in a journey of self-discovery where our completely feckless hero faces her high school demons which make LiLo and the Heathers look positively sweet in comparison. Will she come out the other side better for it? And who will pay the price for her learning curve?
Size 12 and Ready to Rock by Meg Cabot
The fourth installment in the Heather Wells mystery series from the acclaimed writer of The Princess Diaries, follows former pop-singer turned-collegiate-administrator and part-time detective Heather as she is forced to confront a murderous mystery involving attacks on her ex-boyfriend's fiancee (whom he cheated on her with) all in her school's dorms. Cabot had me with the first installment, Size 12 is Not Fat, and has kept me tangled in the drama and the death with each successive (and successful) mystery, year after year.
And this September, catch the fifth volume, The Bride Wore Size 12, when it hits shelves. What will happen when Heather's looming wedding develops interesting, and morgue-linked, entanglements?
Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger
Okay, how I didn't know that there was FINALLY a fucking sequel to The Devil Wears Prada? Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVED the movie - Meryl bloody Streep, Anne ruddy Hathaway and Emily buggery Blunt are three of my favorite modern actresses - but it had very little resembling the original, biting and satirical book (including a very different, and much more happy-go-lucky ending than the book). I can hardly wait to read Lauren's newest and return to the world we all fell in love with. Of course, now when I read it I won't be able to help hearing Blunt and Streep's voices in my head jesting with the reader.
Sci Fi/Fantasy:
Faerie After by Janni Lee Simner
The conclusion to Simner's ground-breaking and brilliant YA series comes to bookstores near you! Simner took the post-apocalyptic genre and turned it on its ear with the release of Bones of Faerie. Gone were the stereotypical undead clamboring after the pockets of human resistance, in their place were pockets of surviving humans under siege from the magical destruction rent upon their world from their war with Faerie. The most inoccuous of things could kill you, a homicidal sunflower or man-eating willow tree, and the world was darker and more beautiful in her telling for it. Now, in the third chapter the fates of Faerie and Earth are entwined on the decisions made by our brave, and young, heroine. I can't tell you how eagerly I've awaited its release.
Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips
I picked this book up back in 2007 when it appeared on the new hardcovers table in Borders and found myself awash in a snarky, raunchy and rather accurate [at least to my myth-minded self and my Latin teaching Mum] depiction of a family of Greek Gods trying to make their way through 21st century London. In fact, it was such an impactful read that it (and the novel Venus Envy by Shannon McElden) inspired my short story, "winnebaGODS on High" for a forthcoming American Travels anthology. Phillips deftly wound a large cosmological-implications tale with one of the human condition, something I aspire to and hope to one day achieve.
The Cats of Tanglewood Forest by Charles de Lint and Charles Vess
The newest team-up from the award-winning and brilliant minds of the two Charles [I was lucky enough to meet them both in 2011 at FaerieCon in Baltimore and get autographed art and books] is an elaboration on their tale, A Circle of Cats which, in-turn, was partly inspired by ideas appearing in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman series. The reader gets the privilege of following the journey of a little girl as she is rescued from Death by the magic of cats and is set upon a path of discovery, delightfully told and illustrated by this wonderful team. Vess' work has appeared in a multitude of comic books, graphic novels, novels, and innumerable images throughout the internet and has a uniquely dreamy quality which makes his work on Faerie tales all-the-more appropos. De Lint has written more fantasy novels than you could shake a stick at and one day I hope to own them all.
Wonders of the Invisible World by Patricia A. McKillip
Patricia A. McKillip is one of those prolific authors whose work has yet to dissapoint me, despite the pile of her books which takes up a large corner of my largest bookshelf. Whether she makes you squirm from the implications of a philandering spousal nymph or longing for answers to what happens to a stranded Undine, this collection of her short stories - including a previously unpublished speech - is a lovely display of her 30-odd years in the Fantasy genre.
Iron Hearted Violet by Kelly Barnhill
What happens when you take your classic Fairy tale about princesses, stable boys, a kingdom in peril, a dangerous cosmological force and a dragon and turn them on their ear? Well, you get this terrific and at moments almost terrifying middle-grade novel for all-ages from Kelly Barnhill [and yes, the chats I've had with her are always fun, whether debating Doctor Who or the merits of the Grimm's fairy tales]. Princess Violet isn't your average princess and Barnhill makes sure that you walk away realizing what a strong-willed, iron-hearted, and positive figure a non-Disney princess can be ... for all of her flaws, Violet is one of those rare protagonists who not only inspires but aspires. In between work and friends, I still made sure I wasn't going to bed before I finished this delightful novel in one day.
The Vengekeep Prophecies by Brian Farrey
Whether you think you know where the story will go or not, it doesn't. Follow in the adventures catalogued in the first volume of Vengekeep - a stunning and fun, epic-minded middle-grade novel for all-ages. Farrey crafts a bewitching and oft-times hilarious world somewhere between The Princess Bride and The Chronicles of Spiderwick. [Like with his demi-neighbor, Kelly, Brian and I have had some fun conversations on The Doctor and Star Trek: TNG] The fact that the second volume, The Shadowhand Covenant, is due for release this October isn't helping things as I want to know what happens NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! And I'm betting, like me, you'll wanna know it too.
One of the perennial favorites of fantasy authors world-wide, Emma Bull's novel helped truly usher in the modern era of Urban Fantasy. Dark, gritty, real, lauding, uplifting, tittering, teetering on the precipice and a thousand other adjectives could be thrown out in attempts to describe this novel, but, all would fail to capture the stark brilliance. I discovered her work in the same anthology I found Patricia A. McKillip in, as a young man, The Faery Reel. Her breadth of tale in short form is something I can only hope to capture one day. War for the Oaks helped usher in an era where authors could play with Faeries in more than just the Victorian gardens or lush warfields of Middle Earth and for that, I couldn't be more thankful.
Wicked Lovely (novel and series) by Melissa Marr
Speaking of Urban Faery stories, Wicked Lovely - the debut novel from Marr back in 2007 - is the perfect melding of classic Irish faery tales and the Urban fantasy genre spearheaded by War for the Oaks. Marr launched a beautiful and harsh series with this twist on the classic story of the battle between Summer and Winter crafting an epic-minded world just slightly different from ours for its inclusion of the Good Neighbors. Simple rules for the Faery-sighted helped keep Aislinn's world rooted ... until they were broken and the repercussisons shook her very world to its core and changed her life forever. Four follow-up novels followed the Dark Court, the High Court, The Summer and Winter Courts and the solitary Fey as their worlds began to collide.
Ilium and Olympos by Dan Simmons
Deftly, and dizzyingly, mixing together The Tempest by William Shakespeare, Aasimov-ian sentient robots, a dystopian future rife with death and beauty, and the startling worlds of the Olympian Gods as they interfere in the decade-long Trojan War this 2-volume story will cause you to scratch your head as you go back and re-read to be triply-sure that you got what-it-was-that-just-happened ... did that really just happen? And did he really just put that together? Simmons, best known for his psychologically-thrilling suspense and horror novels and his classic watershed Sci-Fi Hyperion (the 4-volume series), has set the bar to an almost unimaginable height with this mash-up of Sci-Fi, history and mythology.
AND THUS CONCLUDES ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF ME TELLING YOU WHAT TO READ
... for now.
Recent Comments